What's your body doing?

Let’s start out with this rule of thumb: 

When you are thinking of of an upcoming test (or anything else in the future), remember to breathe.

Here’s a very common experience for test-takers:  “My test is next Tuesday (or tomorrow). YIKES!” Your heart rate goes up, your blood starts rushing, your stomach wrenches. You know the routine.

I don’t know about you, but often, when I’m thinking about something that I have coming up later today or tomorrow or next week (and it doesn’t have to be as stressful as a test), I find myself getting a little amped up. What do I mean by “amped up”? 

When I check in with my body while I’m thinking about what I have to do, I do notice that maybe my heartbeat has speeded up, maybe a little sweat is breaking on my upper lip or my legs feel a little twitchy. What’s going on here? I think of it as launching myself into the future. As if I were a cannonball on my way to whatever the future event is, I’m speeding through the air, only to explode on the other end.

“Amped up” or “worked up” – whatever you call it –  it’s not a comfortable feeling. Some people think it’s energy that’s preparing you for the event. Yes, that’s true– to a point. But chances are you are simply getting a bit anxious—thinking about something that hasn’t happened yet and imagining all the possible scenarios and outcomes (how come most of those tend to be not-so-positive?)  While we can’t control what thoughts come to us—try not thinking about the test you have to take next week—we can, while having the thought about the future, stay calm.

The simplest way?  Just breathe. You notice you’re thinking about the test, you notice your stomach starts to knot up.  Stop. Breathe deeply down to your belly. Ground your feet on the floor. Open up your senses to what is around you right now. The future event (that pesky test) won’t go away, but all those anxious feelings will. And wouldn’t that be a relief?

Remember: it’s a 3 legged stool. Your mind-leg takes over and throws your body-leg and spirit-leg out of balance. Get back in touch with your body. I’ll talk about getting back in touch with your spirit in another post.

Let me know your experiences with getting “amped up”. What happens to do? What do you do for relief?

Anxiety: where are you feeling it?

This week I had an experience I’d like to tell you about.

I have a summer engagement working with professional actors who are recording the voices to a well-known video game.

In the middle of one of the recording sessions I found myself starting to worry about something. What I was worrying about isn’t the point here. The point is I was…

in the middle of an important job that required a high degree of focus and suddenly I became distracted.

At that moment, I noticed that my legs were feeling like they wanted to run away!  So I used the calming tools– I took a good deep breath and I grounded my feet on the floor. Instantly, the worrying thoughts went away and I was able to get back on track and give my full attention to my work.

How does this apply to you?  The next time you feel anxious I suggest that you look immediately to your body and ask yourself “Where am I feeling the anxiety, right now?” As soon as you recognize which part of your body is tense or unsettled, breathe deeply and ground that area.  “Grounding” doesn’t mean you have to touch the ground.  It means that you make a conscious intention to release whatever tension or stress you are feeling in that part of your body and you let it go, as it is releasing it down into the ground.  Example: say you’re reading a test prep book and you start thinking, “I’ll never get this, I won’t get a good SAT score,” and you start feeling anxious about your future. Stop!  Notice where you are having an unsettled or tense feeling in your body. You might realize you are clenching your fists,  or tightening your jaw.  Good!  Awareness is always the first step towards change.  Now, apply the tools: breathe (deeply down to your belly), and ground (open up your hands, let your fingers relax; let your jaw go)..

You’ll be amazed at what you discover when you pay attention to what your body is doing when you feel anxious. We confuse the thought we are having with the feeling. Remember: thoughts create feelings. In other words: if you have an “anxious thought” it’s going to make an anxious feeling somewhere in your body. Locate it.  Calm it down.  You’ll see that the anxious thought will just disappear.

Let me know about your discoveries.

The teacher, Steve Shramko, works at the Eastside Adult Education Program in San Jose, and has, over the years, recognized the need for material– “a curriculum” — that addresses the test taker, not just the test content.  “This is exactly what we need,”  Steve said, referring to the book.

Steve and I had an animated conversation, especially about how testing is disembodying and disempowering. “Students, especially ones who under-perform,” Steve said, “go into tests believing they are going to fail. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  We need to turn that around.”  He immediately saw the relevance of engaging the spirit (focus) as well as the body (calm) and mind (confidence).

It is highly encouraging when an experienced educator sees the book as “the missing link.”  Thank you Steve Shramko! I see the workbook in the hands of students who can use the help through educators like Steve.

Stop pulling your hair out!

Here’s a quick and vital tip:  when you are feeling stressed pay attention to your body.

Much of what we think of as stress is exactly that, thinking.  We start worrying about something that hasn’t yet happened (like an upcoming test) or fretting over something that has already passed (like the answers we put on the test this morning– Did I circle a or b?!).  As soon as this kind of thinking kicks in we start amping up.  We begin feeling anxious.

So here’s the tip:  the feeling is just that, a feeling, something that’s going on in our bodies. Yes, it might be

tripped off by a thought, but because we’re such a dynamic system (body/mind/spirit) one quickly triggers the next.

Pay attention to your body means just that. When you are feeling stressed ask yourself where is this going on in my body? Is your gut tight? Are your shoulders hiked up? Is your fist clenched? When you ask the question and pay attention you’ll quickly get to the place where you are making yourself feel stressed.

The thought is just a thought. Thoughts comes and go.  Come and go.  It’s what we do with them– particularly how we physicalize them without even realizing– that make us feel stressed.

And once you’ve located the place your tensing up:  use the 3 tools for calming down:  breathing, grounding  and sensing. It’s all in Chapter 4: Calm Down.  You can do it.  You just have to do it.

Send me your challenges… and stories.

How often I hear this from students, teachers and parents.  And how often I think this myself!

From students it’s about homework, assignments, tests, keeping up with the schedule, all those after school and extra curricular activities. Pile it on!   Parents and teachers have their own litanies.

I get the feeling pretty often that most of us are stressed out most of the time! Or, to be more exact…

all of us get stressed out some of the time.

True, each of us has an every growing to-do list of things that we need to do, or should have done. We need to meet deadlines and others’ expectations, not to mention all the goals we set for ourselves.

But along with all of this comes the line: “It shouldn’t be so hard.”

And that, I believe, is what really causes us to feel stressed out.  Why? Because when we say that, or believe it, we are not taking life as it is, and instead are wishing, wanting, hoping it would or could be different.  That’s what I call “disconnection.”

In the book I talk a lot about stress being a function of disconnection.  Here’s what I mean: yes, that to-do list has all sorts of stressors embedded in it, but they are not causing the stress. After all, a test is just a piece of paper with the letters “t-e-s-t” on top.

The test is not making you feel stressed out. (It’s just a piece of paper!).  What’s really making you stressed out is that you disconnect from what you need to do (answer the questions) with the thought “It shouldn’t be so hard.”    That’s like being in a river and trying to jump out of it. The river is flowing (the test is going on), better you should swim with the current than fight it.

I wonder sometimes where we get the idea “It shouldn’t be so hard.”  I’m sure this is a complex question and subject, but in an era where you can get information about anything in a matter of mere nano-seconds, where you don’t have to leave your couch to shop, where you can watch four television programs at once, everything seems to be so easy.

Well, truth is, life is a series of tests and challenges—specifically to help us to grow, to be stronger, to become who we are meant to be.  And this means life, and all its tests, is hard sometimes.

Better to jump in, keep your eye on the ball, play the game, toil and sweat, and come out all the stronger, clearer, more determined to serve the world.

So when you think “It shouldn’t be so hard,” listen to the other inner voice and you’ll hear something quite different:

“You can handle it.”

And you can. moment-by moment.

Let me know when you feel things shouldn’t be so hard, and what you do about it.

When I speak around the country I’m often asked to give some “quick tips.”  I’ve come to equate this term with “magic bullet”– in other words, “tell me something I can do right now to take away my anxiety,” “give me a pill, doc.”

There are two problems with that way of thinking: the first is that if you do something it’s just for “right now” and the second is the notion that something or someone can “take away” your anxiety.

i believe it’s better if you understand that your test anxiety is a habit– I want to say “just a habit”, but don’t want you think I’m minimizing it with “just”– but that’s what it is, a habit. In other words, you’ve built up a certain reaction to tests and that reaction is anxiety.  Every time you hear the word “test” or think about a “test” or take a “test”…. here comes the anxiety. Your body, mind and spirit are all conditioned, or habituated, to behave in a certain way around tests. So, along with “test” comes all this stuff of anxiety: rapid heart beat, self-doubt, distraction.

One of the great things about habits is that they are learned, and– here’s the really good news– one habit can be replaced by anotherl. (I don’t like to use “good” and “bad” with habits– I think some habits are helpful and some aren’t). In general anxiety is not a helpful habit — some blood pumping and energy boosting before and during tests is good and even helpful– but when it goes into the anxiety zone it’s not helpful.

If you want to reduce your test anxiety you need to put new habits in place– habits that help you calm down, feel more confident, and stay focused. That’s what the workbook is all about. Yes, it’s a book filled with “tips”– but they are really new habits to be practiced and learned. They don’t take away the anxiety, they replace it. with calm, confidence and focus.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be and work in that direction.

Send me your comments and questions and tell me about the habits that aren’t helping you and  that you would like to replace.

The calm, confident and focused teacher

As the health care debate nears some resolution (at least for the time being), the legislative agenda is already setting its compass to point towards education. A lead article in the New York Times titled “Obama Calls for a Major Change in the Education Law,” the President and his Secretary of Education Arnie Duncan are calling for a re-visioning of No Child Left Behind.

(see referenced article link to ‘Major Change in Education Law’)

One of the key features of the new policy is the focus on teachers and how they teach.

Quoting the article: The administration’s proposals would also rework the law’s teacher-quality provisions by requiring states to develop evaluation procedures to distinguish effective instructors, partly based on whether their students are learning.

I read this to mean: teachers are going to be tested. Big time. I don’t mean…

that they’re going to be sat down with test booklets and scantrons, but their very work itself will be under the microscope and evaluated. The test for teachers is going to focus on two questions: how are teachers going their jobs, and  effective are they?  Certainly, student performance will be an indicator of teacher success, but there will be a great deal more attention to how teachers are instrumental in making that success happen… or not.   This doesn’t have to do only with “teaching to the test,” but the way teachers carry out their jobs.  Do they instill confidence in their students? Do they motivate them staying focused so they can succeed? Do they show them how to be calm and centered in the face of ongoing challenges?

It’s the same three legged stool: calm, confident and focused. It’s the same platform for successful performance, whether you are a teacher, a student, a politician, an opera singer, or a pro athlete.

When a teacher is calm, confident and focused he or she radiates the qualities that every student needs to succeed.

Everyone wants to succeed. Everyone can learn to be calm, confident and focused. Our teachers light that light inside of each of us.

Calm, confident, focused

On November 4, 2008, 66 million people elected Barack Obama the 44th president of the United States.
How did he, a young man with a brief resume, make this dream come true?

All the pundits weigh in: “He’s smart.” “He’s savvy.” “He put together a great team.” “He raised a phenomenal amount of money.” All true, but not the whole truth. Through my eyes as a performance coach I see something more fundamental.

Obama has all three traits that I discuss in this workbook. He is calm, confident and focused, and that makes people trust him and believe in him. He never loses his cool, he never seems dejected or bitter at a loss, and it certainly doesn’t make him lose steam and he is never off-message. Obama’s story is especially amazing when you take in the challenges he had to overcome—an African American with little money, virtually no experience on the international stage, and with the middle name Hussein.

Calm, confident and focused. To many this combination seems elusive and mystical, improbable to achieve. Not so. Barack Obama wanted the presidency and on the path to achieving his goal he had to pass many tests. He passed them all with these invaluable traits.

Not everyone wants to be president. But anyone can learn to be calm, confident and focused. We all have that potential.
You too can cultivate these qualities. You too can succeed at even the most difficult tests.

Let me show you how.

When you use The Workbook for Test Success you are investing in a tool kit. It will give you what you need — not only for the school tests you have to face — but for the tests we all face. The tests of daily life.

Share with us your stories of facing tests and being calm, confident and focused.

He never loses his cool, he never seems dejected or bitter at a loss, and it certainly doesn’t make him lose steam and he is never off-message.

He is a good role model for facing important tests: staying calm, keeping confident, and being focused is the key.

These are the skills that should be part of any leadership training. Leaders are constantly tested. They have to face moment-by-moment challenges, and we trust that they will do that. Have you ever considered that we are really trusting them to stay calm, confident and focused?  Imagine a leader who is tense, doubtful and distracted.  That doesn’t define “leader.”  Calm, confident and focused do.

If you are in a leadership position, or you are training others to be leaders, consider that for the vitality of the organization and the well-being of its members, you want to cultivate the three qualities in The Workbook. We want, and value, leaders who stand on a sturdy three-legged stool. Leaders who are calm, confident and focused.

What are the qualities you value in a leader?

Alan Sitomer: one passionate teacher

I have been reading, with great interest, the postings of a California teacher, Alan Lawrence Sitomer.  His committed work and passionate voice first came to my attention last week with a blog post titled, “Raise your test scores, that’s all they want.”

I highly recommend that every teacher start tuning in to Mr. Sitomer’s blog. They will find mirrored there the many questions, frustrations, joys, challenges, and tests that every thinking, heart-centered teacher has.

In stepping up to the inevitability of standardized tests and the unfortunate (many would say unfair) importance placed on them in our society, Mr. Sitomer, states, “and so, like every other teacher in my school, I have to play they way they want me to play or else they will remove me from my position and bring in other teachers to do as they wish.” Accepting that sad-but-too-true reality, he goes on to state, with firy determination that he is going to “crack” the test. “Standardized tests by their very nature are ‘crackable’ and if you put me in front of the guillotine, well… I have a job I’d like to keep.”

One of the vital, most affirming aspects of Mr. Sitomer’s  commitment is that he is stepping up to the plate and tackling a real challenge of his job. Just like the kids don’t like to take those tests, teachers don’t like spending valuable time and energy (theirs and their students) in hours and hours of test prep. Yet they are part of our reality and we have to deal with them.

“Deal with them” can mean a few things– familiarizing students with test content, test questions and strategies for answering. All important, certainly in the test prep process.  The part that is missing– and that I, just as passionately ask that every teacher, principal, and school superintendent — is that there are foundational skills for approaching tests.  And these skills are not about test content, but about the person taking (or teaching about) the test. They are the skills for being calm, confident and focused.  The same skills that we need when we face life’s tests.  I don’t know about you– but I’m facing tests on a daily basis, and I’ve had my Ph.D for 30 years!

Let’s face it– as Mr. Sitomer is so bravely doing– life is filled with many things we don’t like to do but we have to do. We don’t choose many of the tests we have in life, but we can choose how we approach them.

I applaud Alan Sitomer– no wonder he was the 2007 California Teacher of the Year.  How fortunate his students are, as are we, his fellow teachers.

Stay tuned to:   http://www.alanlawrencesitomer.com/category/blog/