“I was in my office and an 11th grader came in all distraught worked up.  This is one tough kid– she’s had many troubles in her life, and has gotten into a lot of trouble too. She’s usually closed down and angry.  On the day she came into my office she was very upset — she’d had had a bad fight with a close friend who rejected her. She was angry and ready to strike out. I didn’t know what to do with her. She couldn’t sit still.  When I glimpsed The Workbook for Test Success …

on my desk. I said to the girl, “We’re just going to open this book to any page and start reading.” I had no idea where this was headed or how she’d respond, but it was so out-of-the-box that she went along with it.”

“I happened to open to the chapter on Confidence and I started reading. The girl was listening.  I read all about the negative things we tell ourselves, and how that makes us feel badly, and how we can get out of that terrible state by using three tools. She was listening to every word. When we got to the exercises she wanted to do them. I was amazed. We ended up talking for almost an hour.  The Workbook provided an extremely helpful way of getting the girl to look at herself, to think about her situation, and – most importantly—provide her with a positive, productive way of dealing with her self-esteem and the tests she faces in her life.”

The story makes a point:  the model of the three-legged stool is dynamic. That means that all the legs are important and no matter which one you work on—whether it’s your mind (as it was in this case), your body or your spirit, it’s going to have a positive and strengthening effect on the whole.

Try the “open-the-book-to-any-page” method and let me know what you find out about yourself.

The President and perseverance

President Obama delivered the commencement address at Kalamazoo Central High School on June 7.  His speech roused the graduates to consider the future they are holding in their hands.  Here’s what the President said:

Now, graduates, all these folks around you, I have to say, though, with the cameras and the beaming smiles — they’ve worked hard to give you everything you need to pursue your dreams and fulfill your God-given talent.  Unfortunately, you can’t take them with you when you leave here.  (Laughter.)  No one is going to go

follow you around making sure that you’re getting to class on time, making sure you’re doing your work.  Nobody is going to be doing that for you.  Going forward, that’s all on you — responsibility for your success is squarely on your shoulders.

What does “responsibility for your success” really mean?  To me it means having a goal and taking actions that get you to your goal. It means being focused. Most often, up through high school, we are carrying out what someone tells us to do. But as we leave high school the terrain shifts. We have to take charge of our own goals: to be able to define them and to work towards them. This can be challenging or downright difficult if we are used to doing something only “because we have to.”   The shift is to do something because you want to. It means having a dream– your dream– and working towards it.  It means being able to recognize when you are becoming distracted and how to get yourself back on track. Successful people are focused: they are clear on their goals, and they stay connected through consistent action until they reach their goal.  Success means “happy outcome,” and that is what happens when you reach your goal through your own hard work.

The President went on to say, “…meaningful achievement, lasting success — it doesn’t happen in an instant.  It’s not about luck, it’s not about a sudden stroke of genius.  It’s not usually about talent.  It’s usually about daily effort, the large choices and the small choices that you make that add up over time.  It’s about the skills you build, and the knowledge you accumulate, and the energy you invest in every task, no matter how trivial or menial it may seem at the time.”

Look at your goals and ask yourself:  “Are these my goals or someone else’s?”  If they’re not yours you will lose motivation sooner or later. Once you are clear that you own your goals then ask yourself, “Am I doing the things I need to so I can reach my goal, or am I doing things that take me away [distraction]?  Be honest with yourself.   We have the example of a President who reached his goal through determined, focused action.  He did it.  You can.

The teacher, Steve Shramko, works at the Eastside Adult Education Program in San Jose, and has, over the years, recognized the need for material– “a curriculum” — that addresses the test taker, not just the test content.  “This is exactly what we need,”  Steve said, referring to the book.

Steve and I had an animated conversation, especially about how testing is disembodying and disempowering. “Students, especially ones who under-perform,” Steve said, “go into tests believing they are going to fail. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  We need to turn that around.”  He immediately saw the relevance of engaging the spirit (focus) as well as the body (calm) and mind (confidence).

It is highly encouraging when an experienced educator sees the book as “the missing link.”  Thank you Steve Shramko! I see the workbook in the hands of students who can use the help through educators like Steve.

What do you do when this negativity surfaces? You may try to ignore it or hide it. You don’t want others to know you feel “less than”– after all, everyone else seems to be doing so well. So you’re humiliated, thinking there’s something wrong with you. Stop. Let’s start right here. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re having a confidence crisis. No more. No less.

“Confidence” is made up of two root words: “con” which means “with” and “fidence” which comes from the Latin that means faith, loyalty, fidelity, belief in, trust. When we lack confidence we don’t believe in ourselves.

The first tool for dealing with this is to confide the negativity. Tell a friend, a parent, a teacher, a counselor. If no one is readily available, confide in your higher self. Why is this necessary? Because if you keep all the negativity stuffed inside of you it just builds up and makes you feel worse.  You need to release it, let it out. Only then can you make space for something else — something positive –  to come in. In other words, don’t expect the negativity will just go away on its own. Let it out, let it go. Next, your confidant will reflect back to you something accurate and positive about you –something they know to be true (”You have handled difficult situations before,” “You can figure this out,” etc.).  The reflection from the positive mirror is essential because up till now you are glued to the negative side. You need to get out of the grips of the negativity and receive a different message.  Once you’ve done that you are ready for the third tool –   envision taking small manageable steps, successfully, to correct the original negativity. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine each small step that you can take and see yourself taking them.

Say you’re facing a chemistry final next week. You think “No way, I can’t handle this.” That negativity can quickly mushroom and engulf you. As soon as you recognize you are going in that direction, use the tools (1) Confide: tell someone you trust, someone who believes in you, someone who has confidence in you, that you are having this negativity.  (2) Reflect: they will give you an accurate, positive message back (”You have taken on hard subjects and done well; you can do that with chemistry.”  Listen to this message, take it in. (Remember to breathe!).  (3) Envision the small manageable steps you need to take to get back on track. See yourself breathing, grounding, organizing your materials, reading through the first section of the first chapter. Whatever the small steps are for you. Once you recognize that any task can be broken down into small manageable steps, and you can see yourself taking each one successfully, you are moving in a positive direction. Confidence is regained in a steady and methodical manner.

Is there a challenge facing you right now that you don’t think you are up to? Let me know what it is. The tools are available for everyone, all the time.

When I speak around the country I’m often asked to give some “quick tips.”  I’ve come to equate this term with “magic bullet”– in other words, “tell me something I can do right now to take away my anxiety,” “give me a pill, doc.”

There are two problems with that way of thinking: the first is that if you do something it’s just for “right now” and the second is the notion that something or someone can “take away” your anxiety.

i believe it’s better if you understand that your test anxiety is a habit– I want to say “just a habit”, but don’t want you think I’m minimizing it with “just”– but that’s what it is, a habit. In other words, you’ve built up a certain reaction to tests and that reaction is anxiety.  Every time you hear the word “test” or think about a “test” or take a “test”…. here comes the anxiety. Your body, mind and spirit are all conditioned, or habituated, to behave in a certain way around tests. So, along with “test” comes all this stuff of anxiety: rapid heart beat, self-doubt, distraction.

One of the great things about habits is that they are learned, and– here’s the really good news– one habit can be replaced by anotherl. (I don’t like to use “good” and “bad” with habits– I think some habits are helpful and some aren’t). In general anxiety is not a helpful habit — some blood pumping and energy boosting before and during tests is good and even helpful– but when it goes into the anxiety zone it’s not helpful.

If you want to reduce your test anxiety you need to put new habits in place– habits that help you calm down, feel more confident, and stay focused. That’s what the workbook is all about. Yes, it’s a book filled with “tips”– but they are really new habits to be practiced and learned. They don’t take away the anxiety, they replace it. with calm, confidence and focus.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be and work in that direction.

Send me your comments and questions and tell me about the habits that aren’t helping you and  that you would like to replace.

The calm, confident and focused teacher

As the health care debate nears some resolution (at least for the time being), the legislative agenda is already setting its compass to point towards education. A lead article in the New York Times titled “Obama Calls for a Major Change in the Education Law,” the President and his Secretary of Education Arnie Duncan are calling for a re-visioning of No Child Left Behind.

(see referenced article link to ‘Major Change in Education Law’)

One of the key features of the new policy is the focus on teachers and how they teach.

Quoting the article: The administration’s proposals would also rework the law’s teacher-quality provisions by requiring states to develop evaluation procedures to distinguish effective instructors, partly based on whether their students are learning.

I read this to mean: teachers are going to be tested. Big time. I don’t mean…

that they’re going to be sat down with test booklets and scantrons, but their very work itself will be under the microscope and evaluated. The test for teachers is going to focus on two questions: how are teachers going their jobs, and  effective are they?  Certainly, student performance will be an indicator of teacher success, but there will be a great deal more attention to how teachers are instrumental in making that success happen… or not.   This doesn’t have to do only with “teaching to the test,” but the way teachers carry out their jobs.  Do they instill confidence in their students? Do they motivate them staying focused so they can succeed? Do they show them how to be calm and centered in the face of ongoing challenges?

It’s the same three legged stool: calm, confident and focused. It’s the same platform for successful performance, whether you are a teacher, a student, a politician, an opera singer, or a pro athlete.

When a teacher is calm, confident and focused he or she radiates the qualities that every student needs to succeed.

Everyone wants to succeed. Everyone can learn to be calm, confident and focused. Our teachers light that light inside of each of us.

Calm, confident, focused

On November 4, 2008, 66 million people elected Barack Obama the 44th president of the United States.
How did he, a young man with a brief resume, make this dream come true?

All the pundits weigh in: “He’s smart.” “He’s savvy.” “He put together a great team.” “He raised a phenomenal amount of money.” All true, but not the whole truth. Through my eyes as a performance coach I see something more fundamental.

Obama has all three traits that I discuss in this workbook. He is calm, confident and focused, and that makes people trust him and believe in him. He never loses his cool, he never seems dejected or bitter at a loss, and it certainly doesn’t make him lose steam and he is never off-message. Obama’s story is especially amazing when you take in the challenges he had to overcome—an African American with little money, virtually no experience on the international stage, and with the middle name Hussein.

Calm, confident and focused. To many this combination seems elusive and mystical, improbable to achieve. Not so. Barack Obama wanted the presidency and on the path to achieving his goal he had to pass many tests. He passed them all with these invaluable traits.

Not everyone wants to be president. But anyone can learn to be calm, confident and focused. We all have that potential.
You too can cultivate these qualities. You too can succeed at even the most difficult tests.

Let me show you how.

When you use The Workbook for Test Success you are investing in a tool kit. It will give you what you need — not only for the school tests you have to face — but for the tests we all face. The tests of daily life.

Share with us your stories of facing tests and being calm, confident and focused.

These discussions, Hernandez stated, gave the students “an intellectual diversion from preparing for the Maryland School Assessment, the examinations in reading and math that are a near-obsession for administrators and teachers.”

Hernandez goes on to describe the lively and engaging philosophical discussions — started by forward-thinking teacher Kathy Gregory — that students get into over lunch. To me what was most interesting was this activity is seen — at the school and by the reporter– as a balance to test prep.  After reading the article (which I recommend you do), you’ll see that in an activity like this one students are gaining exactly the foundation skills they need to be successful test takers. In other words, they are learning to be calm, confident and focused. This real life training is invaluable and it carries right over into test taking.

When students come together to discuss important issues, on which they have to take a personal stance, they need exactly the skills described in The Workbook for Test Success. It’s a living example of the 3 legged stool.

One of the biggest problems with standardized state tests (like the Maryland School Assessment or the STAR test in California) is that many students find it very hard to be motivated for these tests. My guess is that engaging group activities in school, like the one described in the article, aren’t a diversion, they are building performance and achievement skills that can serve as a springboard for wanting to do well in other activities (like standardized tests).

Thank you Nelson Hernandez for writing about uplifting, nurturing stories like this one. And thank you teacher Kathy Gregory– and Kenmoor principal Maha Fadli — for supporting student growth, To read the article go to: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/03/AR2010010301690.html?hpid%3Dtopnews

In the article, Ms. Sweet also referenced two other First Ladies and their performance anxiety. For Laura Bush it was about public speaking. Hillary Clinton recalled that at age 4 she came home crying to her mother because a girl was pushing her around. Her mother taught her to stand up for herself: “My mother was afraid that if I gave in to my fears, it would set a pattern for the rest of my life.”

That’s what we can learn from these great examples: when we give into our fears, and not just during test preparation, we set patterns, a k a habits — of backing down and backing away. Our loss of confidence and feelings of self-doubt contribute to physical tension and we become distracted from our goals. These can become life-long patterns, where we end up achieving much less than we ought to (than we are really capable of), all because of performance anxiety. Each of the First Ladies learned new patterns and went on to achieve great things.

Performance anxiety is a pattern built on habits: physical tension, self-doubt, distraction. If you want to reverse the pattern you learn the tools to create a helpful, growth-ful, empowering pattern. You learn to be calm, confident and focused.   Remember the 3 legged stool (Chapter 3 in my book).

Here’s the link to the article.  And please, send in your stories about your own patterns and how you are turning them around.

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/11/18/what-made-michelle-obama-anxious-and-nervous/

As one year makes way for another my dream is that all students cultivate their highest, brightest, shining selves. May they all learn to be calm, confident and focused, and become active contributing citizens to a just, peaceful and thriving world.

A month later I received the following email from the student:

“I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for all your insight in your book, and for talking with me that day. I took my LSAT last Saturday, and the day before the test I decided to read your book. It was probably one of the most helpful things I did for myself all month! Even more so than studying countless hours of my test preparation books. I used your techniques before and during my test, and despite not knowing my score, I feel like the positive self talk and breathing helped me focus and be confident to answer all of the questions. So I just wanted to thank you so much for your work!”

I greatly appreciate hearing from someone who used the book and found it so helpful.   Notice that she opened it up the night before the test!  What does this tell me?   I’ve coached many candidates for the LSAT (as well as MCAT, DAT, GRE’s etc). What they say is the same as the student I’m quoting:  they study countless hours. They have put in self-effort, they have done so much to grasp the material. But when they get derailed with anxiety on such an important test (and many people do), their performance  suffers and they end up with sub-par scores. What’s going on here? Burning more midnight oil?

No.

You need to prepare your self—meaning you, the test-taker –  to be calm, confident and focused. In this case, it helped this student right before the test. She didn’t say this much in the email but my guess is she slept better and a rested body and mind help a lot during test. On the test itself she definitely recognized the tools helped her. Her experience makes the point: pay attention to the person taking the test—to yourself—it will  make a huge difference.